Wednesday, December 29, 2010

One More Time With Feeling

My cat looks up at me as if to say,"you know you're certifiable." She couldn't be more on the money if she tried. Why do I set myself up to fail time and again, why? I am afraid to shine because I fear ridicule.  Let me say that I worked my asscake off to lose weight. So why did I stop trying? Good question that I didn't want to answer for a long time.

I got tired of being hungry. I got tired of planning all my meals. I got tired of everything. I went to my WW meeting every Sunday morning for fourteen months straight without missing a meeting. I lost every week then the crash came. I started hesitating at the start/finish line. I guess like so many other addicts in the world I let my own headspeak get through to me. "I am better. I have learned. I will never..." OMG get freakin' real Miss Fi.

I am human. I make mistakes. I walked away from what I was learning to be good at. I walked away from my dream of being nonfat just like my favorite nodairy creamer. I eventually figure out which direction is best for me. I never give up. I absolutely refuse. I have returned to my meeting. I have returned to find that there is a new program that I am trying to get the hang of. I have returned to blogging my journey.

Please keep your hands inside the ride, make sure your seatbelts are secure. This ride I call my life has twists and turns. I do this for me,  one more time but with feeling. See you soon. :)

No comments:

The mad chronicling of a Large Marge on a journey to find the girl she used to be.