Sundays

Sundays...so many things about Sundays that I never used to enjoy. The end of my weekend. The return to routine. Sleeping late and then feeling like I had to race around all day just to get things done for the upcoming week. It used to take me the entire weekend to recuperate from a week's worth of working. Pretty sad, right? This time last year I had not made my choice to grab my life back. I weighed 319.6 pounds. I felt like crap. In all honesty I was an accident waiting to happen. A stroke or a heart attack sat lurking in the shadows.

Funny thing about me...when I am upset I cry in the shower. I cry there because dear sweet Shrek is certain that it is his sole responsibility to make me happy, to see to all my needs. I cry in the shower so he can't feel my pain. I dug the hole I crawled into with food. I taught myself to soothe my ego with Twinkies . If I was ever going to dig out of that food hole, I had to do for me, my way, by myself. Shrek couldn't do this for me.

Along came Jadi. She approached me last year about joining Weight Watchers. She has only ever known me overweight. She was interested in losing some lingering after baby weight and she had heard my gripes about my size and other concerns for awhile. I am sure that I paid her some lip service that I thought she wanted to hear. I had no intention of joining WW. I had gone that road before and after losing a generous amount of weight I always put back whatever I had struggled to lose and then some.

Along came Sunday. It was the last Sunday that free registration was being offered at WW until summer. The date, March 4, 2007. As I recall the evening before Jadi called me and asked me if I was going in the morning. Oh, she was calling my bluff! I hemmed. I hawed. I asked her to check online about meetings and times. I made the decision to go to the very first meeting the next day, Sunday, so I could go waste $12 and tell myself that I at least made the attempt at changing my life. I promised to pick her up...I sealed the deal. I would be there.

It was the Sunday that changed my life. I can't recall now what was said at that first meeting. I only remember that I left there thinking that this was the time. This time it would be different. I would be different. I left thinking that my possibilities were endless.

Sundays...so many things about Sundays that I enjoy. So many things to look forward to. I plan my weekends around Sundays now. If Shrek and I are going out Saturday night my first questions, "will I be able to get to my meeting in the morning? should I call Jadi and make alternate plans to go Monday?" Most every Sunday after I pick up Jadi, we travel to our neighborhood Dunkin' Donuts to secure the Elixir of the Gods before we journey down the street and go to our meeting. There are two very nice Albanian ladies that work at our coffee stop. Without fail every week they ask us if we will be having donuts with our "juice" and they can't help but break into big smiles for they already know the answer to their query, " no, thank you, way too many points ." Better luck next time...

At our meeting there are people I can't wait to see...not for the success or failure of their week but for their smiles and attitude and acceptance. I look forward to Sunday because of them. We are all on the same journey. They renew my soul and help me to stay on track so I can reach my goals. Sundays...

Following the Yellow Brick Road

Being on a weight loss journey is a lot like following the Yellow Brick Road. When I started out I was uncertain of my footing and not quite sure where the road would lead. What are the risks? Should I pack extra goodies or will the road provide for me? Do I have the Stuff to make it to the Emerald City...the Promised Land?


In The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and her pals emerge from the dark forest this little ditty plays"You're out of the woods, You're out of the dark, You're out of the night.Step into the sun, Step into the light.Keep straight ahead for the most glorious place On the Face of the Earth or the sky.Hold onto your breath, Hold onto your heart, Hold onto your hope.March up to the gate and bid it open. It is called the Optimistic Voices track. This song has been playing in my head ever since I started writing this blog. I am ready to march up to the gate...and bid it open.

It is okay to grasp the fate that awaits you. I work on my goals and myself everyday . I feel so much more alive than I have in a long, long time. I had an idea of improving my quality of life. I took that idea, I believed in myself and I joined WW. I have always tried to maintain an optimistic approach to losing weight. I have tried anger and negativity in my lifetime and all it has ever given me in return is misery times two.

Along my road I have met such wonderful and caring people. I have forged new friendships. I have grown as a human being; I am a better person from this experience. The trip has been worth every painful, exciting, tense,moment. I learned that I do have the Stuff to make the journey.

As of this posting I have lost 118.4 pounds. I no longer fight for breath. I have a giant selection of clothing stores I can now shop from. I fit in booths at restaurants. I have turned my life around for the better because I AM WORTH IT AND I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. Never stop believing in the person you are meant to be.

Hope is but a spark of a dream not yet realized. Guard this spark with care for it will become the Flame that lights your life.