Sunday, September 5, 2010

I Can Fly

Once I read a poem by this boy named Adam. It was lovely and moved me in ways I have never been able to express. We as people are born with potential. Life experiences and the people in our lives help to mold that potential. I believe we all have the ability to fly, to soar and become anything we want. I also know that no one can lie to you like you can lie to yourself. I forget that I can fly. I have been listening to the evil black thoughts that pervade my psyche.

My entire life I have felt less. Like I was loved less, wanted less, left with less. I have had help. Kids and adults can be very mean. Some do not hesitate to reach out and help you feel small and insignificant. I know that I am a grown up and that somehow I should be able to shake the past but MY truth is I can't let it go. I hang onto the past like a fishingpole. I cast my line out into the waters of hope, dreams and potential. All I ever seem to be able to reel in? an old boot filled with sludge. The sludge of dreams and hopes that I have given up on. I have become the worst example of myself once again. I can't help but wonder how many times I have to smack myself with a hammer before I realize that it hurts? and that I alone have the power to stop this pain?

I alone have the power to become the best example of me. I just need to believe that I can fly.

The mad chronicling of a Large Marge on a journey to find the girl she used to be.