New Year

I try not to make New Year Resolutions. I find I don't need that extra pressure "making" empty promises I either don't want to keep or are unable to accomplish because the bar has been set too high. The great thing for me is that with the start of every new year my vacation time and sick days at work reset. Oh happy day.
 

Let the Testing Begin

OMG two posts in a row. I told you I believe in miracles. :) Dear hubby and are about to go out for the day. We are on vacation from work this week. Hubby has a daughter from a previous relationship. We are taking her and her daughter out for lunch and shopping. I never got to be a mom in my own right. Stepmom I am. Grammy I try. Let me tell you there is no easier way to weird me out then to have a little 5 year old following behind shouting, "Grammy wait for me. Grammy." Absolutely cool and yet gives me the goosebumps.
I am only posting this because I am sure to be challenged at where we go to eat vs. what I can safely eat without falling off program.

...I survived. I wanted to do anything but go shopping but we went. Stress level up. Lunch up next. We tried to hit our local 99 Restaurant; there was an hour wait so we drove off down the road and hit Lou Roc's Diner. Magical place to me all on its own. I played it safe by ordering a boring garden salad with grilled chicken and house dressing on the side.

Yes, I am jumping up and down. I haven't forgotten how to do this. Hooray for me :)

One More Time With Feeling

My cat looks up at me as if to say,"you know you're certifiable." She couldn't be more on the money if she tried. Why do I set myself up to fail time and again, why? I am afraid to shine because I fear ridicule.  Let me say that I worked my asscake off to lose weight. So why did I stop trying? Good question that I didn't want to answer for a long time.

I got tired of being hungry. I got tired of planning all my meals. I got tired of everything. I went to my WW meeting every Sunday morning for fourteen months straight without missing a meeting. I lost every week then the crash came. I started hesitating at the start/finish line. I guess like so many other addicts in the world I let my own headspeak get through to me. "I am better. I have learned. I will never..." OMG get freakin' real Miss Fi.

I am human. I make mistakes. I walked away from what I was learning to be good at. I walked away from my dream of being nonfat just like my favorite nodairy creamer. I eventually figure out which direction is best for me. I never give up. I absolutely refuse. I have returned to my meeting. I have returned to find that there is a new program that I am trying to get the hang of. I have returned to blogging my journey.

Please keep your hands inside the ride, make sure your seatbelts are secure. This ride I call my life has twists and turns. I do this for me,  one more time but with feeling. See you soon. :)