Life has a way of turning a person over on their ass cheeks. Life doesn't ask although sometimes it does warn you. 10/12/08 I weighed in at my WW meeting. The scale read back 174 for a total weight loss of 145.6 pounds! ...and then the fear set in. I let it persuade me away from my goal of 165. Fear, friend and foe. To have a little Fear can be a good thing. She can forewarn of danger or keep you from doing something foolish. I hate Fear and her evil twin Doubt. I have let them push me into corners and make decision for my life that I have lived to regret. I am convinced that Failure is just around the corner smoking cigarettes waiting for Fear to be done with her job so he can take over, put a sharpened stick into my soul and be done with me once and for all.
05/22/11 I weighed in at my WW meeting. The scale read back 217.8. ZOWIE!! Yes, that is what I thought. How did that happen? Well that is what happens when you let Fear and Failure drive you. I stopped being careful. I stopped exercising. I stopped trying. I started buying into my own lies.
I need to start over. I have never allowed myself to be a success. I am a self-saboteur. My biggest fault/flaw is that I stop believing in "my happy ending." It is counterproductive. I want more for me, from me. I want to be the best example of myself not the worst.
Starting over will be a good thing for me. I have asked Fear and Failure to leave me alone. I have put in a request for that winning team Confidence and Success. Who knows if I put in the work, have enough faith and patience maybe I can affect the change in my life I so desparately want.
