Oh Yes I Can !

Ok so yesterday I went to my meeting. I was so sure that I had gained upwards of 5 pounds. The reality, a half-pound ! So it just goes to show just how large a person can make nothing into something in their mind. It is time to get over myself and finish what I started.

Every year at the end of February, Shrek and I go away for a weekend. Shrek and his buddies attend a gaming convention;while I get to go shopping with my best galpal Jadira. I love this weekend because it helps to put the winter to bed. It also helps me to just breathe and relax. I would like to be at goal before our annual outing. An achieviable goal if I just put in the work.

I will be putting away some money every week that I show a weight loss. I would like to be able to buy some killer boots or a leather coat. I have never allowed myself to own a leather coat because I felt that at my LARGE size it was wrong.

I am not afraid anymore about what awaits me on the other side of the bridge. I have always been able to see the view from my vantage point. I was just never wise enough to believe that I belonged there. Never give up on the person you are meant to be. I think I was struggling so much because I let myself forget what I am worth. I will try from this point on not forget what I mean to the people in my life. Or forget what I mean to me.

Peace...

The Journey of My Life

It is said that a journey of a thousand miles is begun with the first step. The thing is nobody ever warns you about the importance of that first step. Careful preliminary preparations need to be taken. Never leave on a journey without checking all of the details. Great planning makes for great times,usually. Did you ever notice how excited one gets right before vacation time comes? I always enjoy time outs from work but I notice that by the end of my time off I am exhausted. I need a vacation from my vacation.

I tried to finish my journey without ever relaxing, even just a little. I think I burned myself out on WW trying too hard to get to goal. I have stopped logging my foods. I have stopped planning. I have stopped checking labels. I have been pissed at myself. I laid down on the road and I haven't wanted to get off my ass and back up on my feet. Having said that...I am back on my feet. I might be a little unsteady for awhile but I am determined. Never give up on the person you are meant to be. I will win the day! The WW program works for me when I work with it.

"Tis The Season

Happy Holidays? I have never been a big fan of this time of year. I have been on program for nearly two years now. I can honestly say that even though I have made great strides in many of the areas of my life, holidays are still my downfall. This year is no exception. I need to learn to be honest with myself and those around me about how inadequate I feel about family and the events we get invited to and the events that we don't get invited to.


I believe that in order for me to succeed I need to deal with the demons, habits, and laziness I have been relying on for most of my life. Lately I have been not following program as religiously as when I first started my journey. Not a surprise. Weight loss gets more difficult the closer you are to reaching goal. Why? The honest answer; I stop myself from succeeding. I am afraid. I am bored. I am angry. I am confused. I am not as motivated as I once was. The reason for my failure to launch; I have grown complacent.

I never thought I would reach the day when I wish people would stop congratulating me on how well I am doing. UGH ! If only people had an idea about how imperfect I am or how poorly I have been doing. I have been overthinking and over analyzing everything in my life. Which leaves me feeling overwhelmed,which makes me feel like I am underachieving so I stress out and EAT!

WTF!!! Negative thinking gets a body nowhere but into trouble.

What have I learned? If I allow myself to continue to slide down the hill I will eat my way back to the blob I once was. Never give up on the person you are meant to be. I refuse to give up ! I will get to goal. I will...watch this blog for updates on my journey.