OMG! It's October already. I came within a whisker of giving up on me...but I didn't and so I won't. I am so close to crossing into the "FREE" part of WW that I can ,excuse the pun, almost taste it.
The memory and ability issues of my dad are, in my opinion, not getting any better and he may indeed be slipping down hill. His overall health is great. He has memory recall issues.
Stress is a pisser isn't it? I am often frustrated by my dad. It is kind of like reasoning with a small child,which he isn't. I was feeling quite overwhelmed but I thought I had a good hold on my feelings. I was sure that even though I seemed to be reaching for comfort foods (stuffing my face) that I was in control and not feeding my feelings instead of dealing with all of my emotions. Once an addict always an addict...something I need to learn. I know I can't trust myself when I am stressed especially when there is gooey, sweet or crunchy,salty just waiting for me to come and hang out.
I have learned a lot about myself on this journey. I have put on 5 pounds in recent weeks and yes, I deserve each and every one of those little guys. It is so true that no one can lie to you like you can lie to yourself. I promised, I whined, I bargained, I pleaded with myself and anyone one who would bend me their ear my way that I was only taking a rest, enjoying a break. Horseshit is still horseshit even if it is covered in flowers. I was lying people, to you to myself. That won't happen again.
I went to WW this morning and weighed in and took my lumps. I have reassessed my points allowance, my efforts, and my goal weight. I still want to be 165 pounds. I know I can do this. I deserve this for me, for my health, for my family. I have worked hard. Now is no time to give up. I have finally managed to dislodge my head from my ass. I should be able to continue on my journey now and reach the end of the Brick Road and enter into theEmerald City.
I will make it. Never give up on the person you are meant to be...never.
No comments:
Post a Comment